When I Say I Want One Thing, But My Results Say Another, What is Really Going On?

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January is a great time to focus on results.  We think about last year’s and we commit to a fresh start.  If you are like most people you have probably gotten discouraged with resolutions at some point.  We all know that motivation and commitment are important.  Learning some new information or strategies can help.  Having a group or buddy is supportive.  We merely need to change our behaviours.  So, WHY AREN’T WE ALL HEALTHY, LOVED, FAMOUS OR RICH??  I believe that our beliefs hold us back.  You may say be wondering how you can believe you want something, but it’s your beliefs that also stop you?”  Stay with me.  I will explain how this is possible.  And normal.

Our limiting beliefs hold us back.

While some beliefs operate at a conscious level, most are operating at a subconscious or unconscious level.  It is these ‘less-than-conscious’ beliefs which are getting in the way of our intended results.  We are often not even aware of them.  Sometimes they are in direct opposition to what we say we want or deserve.  I know it sounds crazy, but it’s human nature.  Examples of some limiting beliefs are, ‘I never succeed at anything,’ ‘I can’t stick to diets,’ ‘No one would ever want to date me,’ and so on.  Underneath each of these ideas are even deeper beliefs, called Core Negative Beliefs, that can be especially hard to find and face.  Ones like, ‘I’m worthless,’ ‘I’m defective,’ or ‘I am unlovable.’  At some point in our formative years we developed these beliefs and believe them to be true at our core.  The funny thing about less-than-conscious beliefs is that we work very hard to reinforce them.  We look for and sometimes even create results that will confirm what we already believe.  A good coach can help you navigate these ideas further.

Let’s look at an example of an unmet goal.  You want to get in shape.  You are highly motivated by a recent health scare.  You have taken classes, joined gyms, found an exercise buddy, but your results have not changed.  You are still overweight, low on energy and eating crappy food.  So, what’s up with that?  Your limiting beliefs, that’s what.  It means that you have a set of beliefs about yourself, or the world, that are keeping you stuck.  That’s why merely trying new strategies have limited effect.  We’ve got unconscious beliefs working against us!

The good news is that once we can bring the less-than-conscious beliefs to the surface, we can keep what serves us, release the rest and begin to see different results!  It’s beautifully simple.  The tricky part is that we usually can’t uncover our unconscious beliefs on our own.  I go through this process with clients to bring the limiting beliefs to the surface so the client can move forward with different results.

So, now what?  First, give yourself a break for any perceived failures and celebrate your commitment to forging ahead.  You’re here reading this, looking for answers.  You’re obviously more conscious already!

Second, roll up your sleeves.  You can make a lot of progress by yourself through readings, videos, journaling, meditation, affirmations, etc. but ultimately, getting an outside perspective is critical for recognizing patterns and less-than-conscious beliefs.  It is time to throw away the excuses, dig deep and see why you believe you should have less-than-awesome results.  If you really want changed results, you will have to face changing yourself and your beliefs.  The right support can make or break your resolutions.  So release your limiting beliefs and change your results.  Be sure to let me know how it goes!

Alison Smith is a mother and parenting coach who understands the unique needs and challenges of today's parents. To discover more great solutions and receive your downloadable gift of 20 fun and simple ways to connect with your kids while increasing cooperation, join her email list using the form below. [mailmunch-form id="529778"]

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