Tag

family life

We want to be good parents and we want to give our children as much of our focus and time as we can. We know that giving our children our time is important for their optimal development. Yet we’re swamped with demands and juggling our family’s schedules and individual needs. We can certainly look for areas to simplify and be conscious of how we are prioritizing our time as much as we can. Yet, beyond the basics of keeping our children safe and healthy, we know we’ve also got a duty to care for their mental, social and emotional needs. As a conscious and dedicated parent, we expend significant energy observing our children’s behaviour and needs, evaluating our parenting strategies and adjusting our approach, while also managing ourselves. That’s a lot on our plates. Is there anything we can do to make better use of time with our kids? To…

If only our kids would cooperate with us, our job would be so much easier, right? I get how frustrating it can be. I also know that if we are not careful how we gain their cooperation, we can create future problems for ourselves and our kids.

These last few weeks have been a big adjustment for our family, as I imagine it has for many others. We have had a major work change for one member, public school starting for another and our youngest has started his first foray into public, group childcare. Needless to say, we have seen more than a few effects from these big changes. For our youngest, it has been difficult adjusting to being away from his home and family. It became apparent through his meltdowns at home and his clinging, begging and crying at drop-off, that he was struggling. Add to that, he outright told us that he did not like daycare! We made sure there was no actual problem with the choice of childcare venue, of course. But since he was drawing on every argument and method of convincing us that a small human could muster, and every day he…

Not a pleasant post to read, but important to determine your stance on it and to know other ways to protect your kids. Predators are not often the hooded figure lurking in the bushes with lollipops and promises of puppies. Most of them are known to us and trusted by us and our kids see us trusting them. In our family, from infancy, we have always asked our children’s permission to tickle. We have been diligent in teaching our kids to say no if they don’t like it or when it stops being fun and we also to insist that someone stop if they are the ones tickling and the receiver says no. We check in with our kids during tickling or roughhousing by saying, “Do you want more?” or “Is everyone still having fun?” What about visitors in your home, like grandparents? You’re confident that they are well-intentioned but…

We all get triggered. There are behaviours that set our teeth on edge or make us feel as if the Incredible Hulk is about to bust out and trash the house in a green rage. Here are just some of the things that drive lots of parents crazy: Whining Hitting another child Sass Refusing to cooperate Sounding ungrateful What sends one person into a fit though, may not bother another. That is because the behaviour itself does not cause our emotions. It is how we interpret that behaviour. This interpretation stems from the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world. Digging deep here is how we weaken the power these triggers hold on us. We know we may be getting triggered when we feel Angry Embarrassed Judged Anxious Sad Indignant These are some pretty powerful emotions. You may know from reading or watching other content that I have produced,…

Why you may not be getting the support you think you’re asking for. I’ve got a little something for you today that’s helpful even for the work world, or with spouses and friends. We’ve all had those moments when we’ve asked for help, only to hear the chirping of crickets. No one steps up. But what if this is a pattern? What if we never seem to get the support we need? I used to wonder why this was an issue for me. Since then, I’ve learned a few things about why this happens and I’m excited to share them with you so you can stop feeling lonely and unsupported. You can ask for support. And actually get it. Are you getting the support you need? Have you ever said to yourself (or maybe even out loud) “Why doesn’t anyone put their dirty socks in the laundry basket? Why do…

A parent asks: My five-year old doesn’t want to participate in music class. He doesn’t want to participate in anything – last year it was karate – and when he doesn’t want to participate, he says he “doesn’t feel well”. I don’t know what to do. Alison answers: You are not alone. In fact, my own family has experienced this very thing. This issue can cause exasperation for parents and a lot of stress for the child. If not addressed in a positive way, it can cause a rift between the parent and child. This rift can actually begin to erode the child’s trust in the parent that his or her parent will help when they are struggling. Obviously, this is not something us loving parents would ever intend to do! It is important to note here that children who feel connected with their parent will want to please them.…

We all have moments when our limiting beliefs affect our relationships. Others may not know what we are struggling with exactly, but they always pick up on the vibe. They know we are trying to get our needs met in indirect and unhealthy ways–and they want to get far away from that negative energy! We have all felt people pulling away from us. Next time, notice what you are doing or saying right before you get that feeling. Chances are it is one of these following 12 behaviours*. “Being envious of everyone else. Taking everything too personally. – What people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. Acting like you’re always a victim. Hoarding pain and loss. – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Obsessive negative thinking. – [People who] speak incessantly about the terrible things…

Meltdowns may be a fact of life with small children, but the Terrible Two’s are not a life sentence. Knowing what our little ones are trying to communicate goes a long way in managing meltdowns. When they are crying or throwing themselves on the floor in an epic tantrum, they are indeed communicating. When they are little, this is normal for their developmental age. They may be telling us they are hungry, tired, bored, overstimulated or a variety of other legitimate needs. They may also need to vent some overwhelming emotions. Current neuroscience tells us that when any of us are flooded by emotion, we are incapable of logical reasoning. Have you ever had your spouse try to fix your ‘problem’ before you had a chance to share your feelings about it? Kids feel the same way yet their brains are far less developed than ours, particularly in regards to…

Perhaps you are like most of my clients and feel that procrastination is a major issue in your life.  As a life coach I research a variety of topics for clients, but I am also always engaged in my own personal development.  Procrastination is one area that I have done a LOT of research on, so you can guess that I may have experienced its effects personally.  (Winks.)  In fact, I will admit that I didn’t even want to start researching this topic.  Worse than that, my research was actually an elaborate ploy to avoid doing something even more unpleasant!  I finally did and would like to share a few ideas I have learned about the topic. Let’s be clear, though.  Why we put stuff off is a HUGE subject.  In this brief article we only have time for a small piece.  While some people can make some gains in…